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  • midlifelove 12:19 am on February 17, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , boosts Vit D., cod liver oil, mackerel, salmon, sardines, sex drive, sunbathing, sunscreens, sunshine, , tuna, Vit D, Vitamin D   

    Sunshine boosts sex drive 

    The idea of taking a break in the Caribbean sun to rejuvenate your sex life isn’t just an escapist fantasy, according to new research.

    An hour of sunbathing can boost a man’s testosterone levels – and his sex drive – by 69 per cent, European researchers reported in the Daily Telegraph have found.

    Sunshine is vital to boosting Vitamin D levels, and the new study shows Vitamin D is essential for good testosterone levels.

    Stimulated by UV radiation, 90 per cent of Vitamin D in the body is produced by the skin, although it can be found in cold water fish like tuna and salmon, and in cod liver oil.

    And while sunscreens with a sun protection factor of 8 or greater will block UV rays that produce Vitamin D, but it is still important to routinely use sunscreen whenever sun exposure is longer than 10 to 15 minutes.

    Testosterone Fluctuates With Sunshine

    Researchers at the Medical University of Graz in Austria found men with more Vitamin D per millilitre of blood had much more of the main male sexual hormone circulating than those with less.

    And the average amount of testosterone over the course of the year was subject to the same fluctuations as the Vitamin D level.

    Both decrease from October – at the beginning of the winter months – and reach their lowest level in March because of the weaker solar radiation during this period.

    Not Enough Sun

    Season, latitude, time of day, cloud cover, smog, and sunscreens affect UV ray exposure, so if you live somewhere with little sun, it is especially important to include good sources of Vitamin D in your food.

    In Boston – for example – the average amount of sunlight is insufficient to produce significant Vitamin D synthesis in the skin from November through February.

    Ad Brand, spokesman of the Sunlight Research Forum in Veldhoven in the Netherlands, said: “Men who ensure their body is at least sufficiently supplied with Vitamin D are doing good for their testosterone levels and their libido among other things.”

    Best Foods For Vit D

    While sunshine is the most effective Vitamin D source, it can also be obtained by eating fatty fish –cold water varieties like salmon, mackerel, tuna and sardines, by taking cod liver oil, eggs, beef liver, or UV irradiated mushrooms.

    Foods like cereals and milk are now routinely fortified with Vit D.

    Testosterone is the most important male sexual hormone. In males it is mainly responsible for the development of the sex organs, the formation and maintenance of the typical male sexual characteristics, sperm production and the controlling of male desire.

  • midlifelove 10:37 am on November 18, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: desire discrepancy, hydraulic model of sex, Robyn Salisbury, sex drive, sex therapist, Sex Therapy New Zealand, staying in love   

    When One Partner Says No More Sex 

    no more sexSometimes it occurs after the birth, sometimes after menopause.  With a statement like

    “I’m 60 now. I’m past having sex. Just forget it,” one of a previous pair announces their sex life is over. No more pairing up, it’s solo from here on it.

    Making that kind of unilateral decision for “no more sex” is incredibly arrogant and downright cruel, says sex therapist Robyn Salisbury, in her latest book Staying in Love, the top secrets of great relationships (Random House)

    “Together you need to seek help to talk about it. It’s just not fair to hold someone to ransom with a message like ‘If you want to keep our family together then these are the terms, accept them’

    “There is no more powerful way to reject someone than to withdraw physically. If you are in a relationship, then the decision to be sexual is not entirely yours.

    “Yes it’s your body, and I am not advocating returning to times past when sex was seen as a conjugal right.

    “However if you have entered a committed relationship then you don’t have the right to impose any rules without a joint understanding…”

    Another Way To Tackle It

    Rather says Robyn, who answers personal queries in a popular Sunday newspaper column, you should rephrase the statement:  “As I’ve got older I find I’m not really enjoying our sex as much as I used to. Can we talk about how we might alter it to make it enjoyable again?”

    The problem she says is that for many people “Sex equals intercourse” – something she calls and “unproductive myth” about sex that is one of the actual causes of loss of desire.

    She calls it “the hydraulic model of sex . . . focused around genital stimulation.

    “This in no way provides us the grounding for lifelong sexual desire.

    More than Coupling

    “Couples who turn up for counselling often think either they have a hormone imbalance or that they have fallen out of love with their partner.

    “One or both of these factors may be playing a role, but neither of them is straightforward.”

    A major survey of women found a high degree of extra-genital satisfaction resulting from stimulation of other parts of the body, says Robyn, who is director of Sex Therapy New Zealand.

    Focusing on biology is a trip, says Salisbury. Sex drive can be affected by drugs, physical illness, emotional state, learning and many other factors.

    Desire Discrepancy Dangers

    Robyn says just as expecting your partner to sacrifice sex for your sake is destructive, to carry on engaging in sex when it isn’t what you want is also not the answer.

    “Desire discrepancy creates a danger of setting up a pursue-retreat dynamic where on partner feels under pressure to provide sex and that pressure further diminishes their interest.

    “The other redoubles efforts to be seductive or persuasive and in the end simply increases the pressure that is a desire killer.”

    Robyn suggest a much broader approach to what makes us feel good and meaningful… including physical, emotional, mental and spiritual parts of ourselves.

    So what do you think? Are you in a relationship where the sex has gone cold and you don’t know what to do about it? Have you found answers to this very common dilemma? Tell us your views and give others an insight into a new way of doing things at the same time.

  • midlifelove 3:12 am on October 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: alcohol abuse, , , , sex drive,   

    Drink Hard, Fail in Bed 

    drinkWhen you are involved in a marketing a herbal supplement that helps men recover their mojo – as we are with Herbal Ignite – you frequently get men ringing up asking whether they can drink alcohol with the product.

    The answer is yes, no problem (ie., no unpleasant side effects) but I always want to ask them “Just how much alcohol are you planning on drinking?” That’s because the question raises red flags about how their drinking may be affecting their health.

    Are they in fact suffering from alcohol-related erectile dysfunction and expecting a herbal pill to fix the problem?

    For as wise old William (Shakespeare) of Stratford noted hundreds of years ago alcohol “provokes the desire but takes away the performance” (paraphrased.)

    The level of safe drinking recommended by medical authorities is around 14 units (glasses) a week for women and 21 a week for men. Indulge in a little “stress relief” via glass or bottle a few times a week and it takes no time at all to have exceeded the recommended levels.

    Moderation Good for Sex

    There’s no argument that small amounts of alcohol, in particular red wine, can be good for you. Alcohol consumed in moderate amounts can release sexual inhibitions, intensify libido and temporarily enhance feelings of wellbeing and self-esteem.

    A Harvard study which showed heavy drinkers and abstainers were the most likely to become impotent also showed moderate drinkers were the least likely to have erectile dysfunction problems.

    These findings are consistent with other studies, which have shown that people who have one or two drinks a day have lower cholesterol and therefore better blood flow. Good circulation is essential for male sexual performance and restricted blood circulation is also a cause of sexual difficulties among women.

    Heavy Drinking Deflates Mojo

    Long term over-consumption however affects the nervous system and impairs the impulses between the brain’s pituitary gland and the genitals, causing problems with triggering and sustaining an erection.

    Alcoholism also disrupts hormone levels, in particular, testosterone and estrogen. Low levels of testosterone diminish sexual drive and function.

    It’s not surprising then, given these facts, that excess alcohol consumption often produces budding “super-studs” who end up being “all talk and no action!”

    Case studies have shown that long-term alcohol abuse causes alcohol impotence in men even when they are sober.

    Regardless of whether over-consumption is caused by physical or psychological factors, the bottom line is that at best excess alcohol leads to chronic sexual under-performance and at worst chronic alcohol impotence.

    Solutions for Alcohol Caused Impotence

    The obvious answer is to seek help in controlling drinking.

    These days a large number of people are looking into alternative medication to get stronger erections and increase libido.

    While conventional remedies for Erectile Dysfunction such as Viagra or Cialis are helpful but they come with a huge price tag and side effects.

    Supplements like Herbal Ignite are proving increasingly popular cause of its 100% natural and herbal makeup.

    You’ll find a lot more information about natural sexual stimulants at http://www.herbaligniteUSA.com as well as the opportunity to order herbal sex boosters.

  • midlifelove 11:37 am on August 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , cholesterol, , , , hot flushes, , pomegranate, pomegranate juice, , sex drive, , sperm quality   

    Pomegranate Juice for Better Sex 

    The Greeks credited pomegranate with aphrodisiac qualities and now modern science is discovering why.

    New studies are showing a glass of pomegranate juice every day can increase men’s sex drive, ease erectile dysfunction and even increase sperm quality.

    The purple-coloured fruit has more anti-oxidants than red wine, green tea or blueberries, and is known to have excellent anti-aging properties, with benefits for everything from wrinkle- free glowing skin to better heart and circulatory health.

    But now the free radical action of the anti-oxidants is also proving a winner for improved sexual performance.

    Pomegranates for Erectile Dysfunction

    Nearly half of the men (47%) who drank a glass of pomegranate juice a day reported they got better erections, compared with only 32% in a placebo group, in an Los Angeles based randomised, placebo-controlled, double-blind, crossover pilot study.

    Researchers from The Male Clinic, Beverly Hills, and University of California, Los Angeles said the findings are very encouraging as they suggest there is a non-invasive, non-drug way to potentially alleviate an issue that affects so many men.

    “For men with ED, it is important to maintain a healthy diet and exercise. Drinking pomegranate juice daily could be an important addition to the diet in the management of this condition,” said co-author Harin Padma-Nathan from UCLA.

    (International Journal of Impotence Research, doi: 10.1038/sj.ijir.3901570).

    The results support an earlier study also showing the long-term consumption of pomegranate juice may help combat erectile dysfunction (Journal of Urology, July 2005).

    Pomegranates for Increased Sex Drive

    In another study, researchers asked 14 couples to perform a series of tasks after drinking pomegranate, orange or cranberry juice.

    These included asking the couples to kiss and showed them images of scantily-clad models of the opposite sex. The team at Mindlabs International, at Sussex University, found the couples kissed more passionately after drinking pomegranate juice, sending their vital signs soaring. The effect was significantly more noticeable in the men.

    Pomegranates for Sperm Health

    And in another research project, seven weeks of daily pomegranate juice enhanced the quality and mobility of sperm in male rats.

    The link between the antioxidant-rich juice and male fertility could see pomegranate seen as much more than a heart healthy food, if the new results published in Clinical Nutrition can be translated to humans.

    Published online ahead of print, doi:10.1016/j.clnu.2007.12.006

    Also Good for Hot Flushes

    Pomegranate alleviates menopausal symptoms like hot flushes in mice and has been shown to reduce the risk of prostate cancer (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Sept. 26, 2005).

    It’s also been shown to help support the body’s natural defences against Alzheimer’s disease, various cancers, coronary and heart diseases, arthritis and other chronic illnesses. It reduces plaque in the arteries, and reduces “bad” and raises “good” cholesterol.

    Other research reports suggest that pomegranate juice might help reduce the risk of breast cancer.

    Herbal Answer to Erectile Dysfunction

    Pomegranate juice is just one of a number of non invasive, non drug options for erectile dysfunction. Herbs like tribulus terrestris found in Herbal Ignite can also be beneficial. For full details of this and other natural sex boosters for men’s sexual health see http://www.herbalignite.com

    • superfood_gal 1:37 pm on August 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Good post.. I was about to post on the benefits of pomegranates as well!

    • Jimbo 12:48 am on September 17, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I can’t wait to try this for a month. I hope it works as well as the tests have shown.

  • midlifelove 5:22 am on June 14, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: albert eintein, , chemical, , , endeavours, , linked, love wins, lucy brown, , move, mri, prairie voles, pursuit, , , , sex drive,   

    Is Love More Powerful than Sex? 

    Sex and romance may seem inextricably linked, but the human brain clearly distinguishes between the two, according to a new study. The upshot: Love is the more powerful emotion.

    The results of brain scans speak to longstanding questions of whether the pursuit of love and sex are different emotional endeavours or whether romance is just warmed over sexual arousal.

    “Our findings show that the brain areas activated when someone looks at a photo of their beloved only partially overlap with the brain regions associated with sexual arousal,” said Arthur Aron of the State University of New York-Stony Brook. “Sex and romantic love involve quite different brain systems.”

    Left side, right side

    The study was small, however, involving 17 young men and women, all of whom had recently fallen madly in love. They filled out questionnaires while their brains were hooked up to a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) system.

    Romance seems to steep in parts of the brain that are rich in dopamine, a chemical known to affect emotions. These brain regions are also linked by other studies to the motivation for rewards.

    “To our surprise, the activation regions associated with intense romantic love were mostly on the right side of the brain, while the activation regions associated with facial attractiveness were mostly on the left,” said Lucy Brown of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine.

    The study also revealed that as a romance matures, so does the mind.

    “We found several brain areas where the strength of neural activity changed with the length of the romance,” Brown said. “Everyone knows that relationships are dynamic over time, but we are beginning to track what happens in the brain as a love relationship matures.”


    Love wins

    The processing of romantic feelings involves a “constellation of neural systems.” The researchers — neuroscientists, anthropologists and social psychologists — declare love the clear winner versus sex in terms of its power over the human mind.

    “Romantic love is one of the most powerful of all human experiences,” said study member Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University. “It is definitely more powerful than the sex drive.”

    Animals, too

    There are hints in the study that romance is not a uniquely human trait.

    Some of the changes seen with mature romances were in regions of the brain also associated with pair-bonding in prairie voles. Other studies have found that expressions of attraction in a female prairie vole are linked to a 50 percent hike in dopamine activity in the brain region that corresponds to the location where human romance is processed.

  • midlifelove 3:05 am on June 4, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , intimacy, libido loss, , patricia love, , , sex drive, sexual issues, sexual needs, wedding promise   

    Warm Love, Cold Sex 

    When Love is Warm but Sex is Cold

    You still love each other, but you just don’t want to “do it” any more. “Till death us do part” may be the  age-old wedding-day promise, but the sad reality is that within four years of couples setting up house together, more than half will be dealing with the ‘death’ of their active sex lives.

    Once the “hormone high” of romantic love has helped a couple to bond, it’s often a slow fade according to new research showing secure relationships kill off a woman’s sex drive, with even young women affected by libido loss.

    Women who were ‘hot to trot’ when love was new – with 60% wanting sex “often” – were decidedly lukewarm four years on, with less than half of 30-year-old women wanting regular sex.

    After 20 years, interest in regular sex had plummeted further, with only 20% of 50-year-old women interested. Their men, in contrast, remained at a constant simmer, with 60 to 80% wanting regular sex over the same time period.

    It’s a sexual disconnect that can lead to recriminations and rejection. He feels he’s been “tricked” by a woman who seemed to want him and then went cold. She thinks he worked at turning her on until he had “caught” her and now he doesn’t bother about her needs any more.

    Both start looking for alternatives, and soon the romantic merry-go-round begins all over again. The great news is, it doesn’t have to be like that. A cold bed isn’t the inevitable outcome.

    Sex therapists like Bettina Arndt (The Sex Diaries, 2009) and love educator Dr Patricia Love (The Truth About Love, Simon and Schuster, 2001) advocate a range of strategies for keeping love alive once the hot glow of hormone heaven has cooled.

    sexy legs

    1) Just do It

    It’s unfair to be in a relationship and not engage in sexual activity, if that’s what your partner wants, Dr. Love says. “To say ‘I won’t be sexual with you, and you’d better not go get it somewhere else either’ is a non-relational way of addressing sexual issues”.

    Say “Yes” more often, says Bettina: “Once the canoe is in the water, everyone starts happily paddling. For couples to experience regular, pleasurable sex and sustain loving relationships women must get over that ideological roadblock of assumptions about desire and ‘just do it’. The result will be both men and women will enjoy more, better sex.”

    2) Make Sex a Priority

    Don’t leave a love date to chance. Agree to find a regular time for  intimacy and it will take the pressure off the rest of your time together.

    3) Understand low desire is often no reflection on your relationship.

    Both men’s and women’s sex drives have normal highs and lows. It is natural for relationships to pass through predictable “ups and downs”, which many couples mistake for “the end of love”. Persevere and choose to discover more about your own needs and those of your partner.

    4) Communicate your sexual needs

    It’s not reasonable to expect your partner to automatically know what will turn you on, or how you are feeling. Make a pact to listen to one another, and be brave enough to be open and honest.

    5) Accept the differences between you and your partner.

    There’s an old quip: “Women hope men will change after marriage but they don’t; men hope women won’t change but they do.” Partners often think their marriage would be great if only the other person would change. But often they are just attempting to close the gap on the inherent differences that define each person- differences that were not obvious or that they overlooked early in the relationship when “love was blind” – or veiled by hormones. Such futile efforts (trying to change the unchangeable) merely work to build resentments and break apart intimacy.

  • midlifelove 6:08 am on February 26, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: chemistry, coutship, estrogen cyle, , , , saliva, sex drive, sexual attraction, wet kisses, women's fertility   

    The Secret of Kissing 

    Kisses That Turn Her OnThe chemistry of romance just gained a new dimension, with revelations that a previously unknown ingredient in salvia increases sex drive. The impact of a first kiss can be life or death to a love affair, but now scientists investigating the biochemistry of kisses say that hormones exchanged during passionate kisses can stimulate sexual attraction.

    New findings show saliva in the kiss contains testosterone, so the open–mouthed wet kisses preferred by men may be an unconscious attempt to transfer testosterone and turn the woman on. Don’t make it too sloppy though, or you’ll turn her off.

    The exchange of hormones in a kiss may also allow males to assess women’s fertility and estrogen cycle, scientists argue. More than 90 per cent of human societies exchange kisses, but the full story of the hormones exchanged in a simple kiss is still to be told.

    Scientists say kissing is a way of assessing our potential mates. They are finding that all kinds of chemical systems are in play in courtship. One study found that 66 percent of women and 59 percent of men say that the quality of the first kiss can kill a relationship.

    • alec 6:51 am on February 26, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      I am Alec & I blog at Learn Love Lessons . I am also involved in writing articles for Love Relationships & Love Coaching. I was wondering if you be interested in adding one of my site at your blogroll, in return I can also mention about your blog or in my posts or at my blogroll. Let me know if you’re interested.


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