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  • midlifelove 9:23 pm on August 29, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Bob Geldof, Bono, Coco Summer, , tantric sex, Trudie Styler   

    Sting’s Sex Life ‘Frantic’ Not Tantric 

    trudie styler
    The story about Sting and wife Trudie Styler’s eight hour tantric sex marathons was just too good to not believe, manna from heaven for media on a slow news day, even though he admitted five years ago that it was a joke fabricated by his mate Bob Geldof at a dinner party.

    Now it’s surfaced again after Sting’s 18-year-old daughter Coco Summer is quoted in UK Love magazine as complaining that it’s embarrassing to be asked about her parent’s sex life.

    “Bob Geldof made up this thing and it stuck — and it’s an international joke!” Coco said.

    Tales of Sting’s seduction techniques were first revealed in the 1998 biography Sting — Demolition Man. But it seems Sting was indulging in frantic rather than tantric sex.

    Dinner with Bob and Bono

    Asked by Jeremy Vine in the 2004 BBC1 interview if he knows what tantric sex is, Sting, whose real name is Gordon Sumner, replies: “I haven’t a clue.”

    Lest it be thought that this means he isn’t as virile as he has been portrayed, Sting insists he has a lively sex life. “I have frantic sex, which is just as good as tantric sex.”

    The myth of Mr and Mrs Sumner’s tantric sex has been traced to a dinner party they attended with the Irish rock stars Bob Geldof and Bono.

    “It was simply me and Geldof bitching,” said Sting, whose hits include ‘Roxanne’, ‘Fields of Gold’, and ‘Don’t Stand So Close to Me’.

    Joke Spread Like Forest Fire

    “We were chatting and talking about having hours of sex. It then became really a joke which went around the world like a forest fire.

    “Okay I had fun with it. Yeah, seven hours of sex every night. In fact it’s more like four hours of begging, then a movie and then dinner.”

    He admits that he was quite content for his prodigious libido to become a talking point. “I went along with it. It’s fun, but it’s all Geldof’s fault.”

  • midlifelove 5:08 am on August 27, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Balthazar Getty, Billy Crudup, Claire Danes, Eddie Cibrian, Jennifer Aniston, LeAnn Rimes, Mary-Louise Parker, mate poaching, Sienna Miller   

    He’s Yours? Well I Want Him! 

    bradpit, Angie & JennKnowing a man is “taken” makes him more attractive to single women, according to new research on the phenomenon known as “mate poaching”. Just ask Jennifer Aniston.

    It’s a sly tactic that’s constantly played out in the tabloids – Sienna Miller canoodling with married actor Balthazar Getty, LeAnn Rimes stealing movie co-star Eddie Cibrian from his wife, Claire Danes luring co-star Billy Crudup away from his pregnant partner, Mary-Louise Parker.

    Now a study from Oklahoma State University shows 90% of women were interested in a man when he was described as “attached”, while only 59% expressed interest in the same man when he was described as single.

    Same Photo, Different Response

    Melissa Burkley, lead study author and assistant professor of social psychology at the university, and PhD student Jessica Parker had 184 Oklahoma State undergraduates (97 of them female) fill out a survey on their personal preferences, including what they look for in a romantic partner.

    Then the group was shown pictures of the person with whom they were “matched” – all men got the same photo and all women got the same photo. Half of the group was told their match was single, while half was told their match was “in a current romantic relationship.”

    Says Melissa Burkley: “We found that men were over all interested in this person, but it did not matter at all whether she was single or in a relationship,” she says. “(But) for the women, particularly the single women, it mattered very much. If he was single, they weren’t nearly as interested.”

    Mate Poaching Ploys

    Recent studies find that mate poaching among females is quite common. A 2004 study from Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois found 34 per cent of women in 53 countries actively engage in mate poaching. A study from 2001 by the same researchers found mate poachers more likely to be low in agreeableness and conscientiousness than people who don’t pursue unavailable people.

    “Some would argue that him being in the relationship means he has resources available,” Melissa Burkley says. “It’s shown that he’s able to commit … he’s already done it once, so he may be more likely to do it again.”

    Conversely, if he’s dumped one woman to go for another, he’s just as likely to do it again, with someone new.

    Their study is published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

  • midlifelove 11:36 am on August 26, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: acupuncture, aromatherapy, chamomile, dietary supplements for sleep, essential oils, George Bush, , , Kevin Rudd, L-theanine, lavender, Margaret Thatcher, melatonin, , natural alternatives, prescription sleeping medications, sleep well, , valerian   

    Sleep Well, Sleep Better 


    Michael Jackson’s premature death from a cocktail of sedatives for insomnia and anxiety underlines the tragic consequences of overdoing prescription sleeping medications.

    Being able to operate successfully on very little sleep a night is apparently a genetic trick. British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher famously got by on four hours a night, Australian PM Kevin Rudd can operate on three while former US President George W. Bush wanted at least eight.

    Although the National Sleep Foundation recommends getting seven to nine hours of sleep a night, the average American logs only six hours and 40 minutes.

    And in Australia a 2004 study showed 20 per cent of adults reported being disturbed between three and five times every night, while close to two-thirds reported difficulty going to sleep.

    Two-in-five say they do not wake up feeling refreshed and close to two-thirds feel sleepy during the day more often than once a week.

    Natural Alternatives ‘Safer’

    Obviously around the world there are millions of adults who share Jacko’s difficulties with sleeping, so what’s to do?

    Before you reach for the sleeping pills, it’s worth considering other alternatives – natural herbs, nutritional supplements, aromatherapy and life style changes.

    “These are safer and have fewer side effects than OTC medications,” Jacob Teitelbaum, MD, author of From Fatigued to Fantastic and medical director of the national Fibromyalgia and Fatigue Centers. He told Karen Asp at Health.com many of these safer alternatives “can not only help you fall asleep and stay asleep, but they may also promote muscle relaxation.”

    Making Good Choices

    If you haven’t slept well in days but aren’t ready to see a doctor, here are a few options:

    Ways to change your daily patterns

    • Avoid caffeine after lunchtime. A caffeine buzz not only affects the amount of sleep you get, but also the quality. “If coffee is still in your system when you go to bed, your sleep is going to be lighter, more fragmented, and less restorative,” says Ralph Downey III, PhD, director of the Sleep Disorders Center at Loma Linda University Medical Center in California.
      • Avoid alcohol in the evening.  While it may help you fall asleep quickly, it disrupts sleep in the second half of the night. (Symptoms include shallow sleep, sweating, nightmares or vivid dreams, and general restlessness and an overall reduction in sleep time, resulting in daytime weariness)
      • Explore books or audio recordings for relaxation, meditation, and stress relief techniques
      • Do physical exercise during the day to ‘work out’ your muscles and induce a pleasant feeling of physical tiredness
      • Keep a ‘worry journal’
      • Investigate acupuncture – recent Chinese research shows it can help sleeplessness

    Set up a regular bedtime routine

    • Limit bedroom activities: If you have insomnia, your bedroom should be used for two things only: sleep and sex. That means moving the TV, computer, knitting, unopened mail, exercise equipment, and anything else distracting out of the room. (If sex leaves you revved up instead of relaxed, you’ll have to move that too.)
    • As much as possible, go to sleep at a regular time each night. That way your internal clock keeps to a schedule.
    • Eat a light snack before bed; Certain foods, such as turkey and dairy products, contain tryptophan, an amino acid that your body turns into sleep-promoting melatonin and serotonin. While eating a big meal before bedtime can make it harder to sleep, a light snack of cheese and crackers or yogurt may actually help.

    Herbal blends and supplements

    • Natural sleep treatments often contain valerian, melatonin (not available in NZ or Australia) lemon balm, hops, coenzyme Q10, and chamomile, St. John’s wort, passionflower, kava, and hops. They’re available as pills, tablets, liquid formulas, and even incorporated into mainstream tea products.
    • Dietary supplements include magnesium and calcium, L-theanine (from green tea).


    • Essential oils of chamomile, juniper, lavender, marjoram, neroli, rose and sandalwood and mandarin are all relaxing and gently sleep inducing. Put a few drops on your pillow drop a few drops in a warm bath before bed, or add to a natural oil like almond oil and smooth on arms and legs before bed.
  • midlifelove 11:59 am on August 25, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: addictive, Ativan, benzodiazepines, Diprivan, , , natural alternatives for sleep, propofol, side effects, , Versed   

    The Dangers of Sleeping Pills 

    sleeping pillsMichael Jackson’s tragic death from an overdose of propofol (marketed as Diprivan) highlights the dangers of taking sedatives to sleep…

    Between a third and half of adults have insomnia and complain of poor sleep.

    Most of us won’t be taking propofol, which is administered intravenously and most commonly used for surgical procedures and veterinary medicine, not for insomnia.

    But two of the other drugs in Michael Jackson’s pharmaceutical nightcap – Ativan and Versed – are commonly prescribed for insomnia, even though as benzodiazepines they have been shown in ECG studies to produce a poor quality of sleep, and in the case of Ativan to produce withdrawal symptoms like rebound insomnia (the return of the symptom in a more severe form) after as few as seven days of use.

    It’s a stark reminder sleeping pills are not harmless jubes, although they may be effective in ending your sleep problems in the short term.

    So how can you take them safely, while avoiding the side effects?

    What type of sleeping pill should you take?

    Most sleeping pills are “sedative hypnotics” and fall into three broad categories: benzodiazepines, barbiturates, and various hypnotics.

    Benzodiazepines such as Xanax, Valium, Ativan, and Librium are anti- anxiety medications, which are also used to treat insomnia. All benzodiazepines are potentially addictive.

    Barbiturates are short or long term acting sedatives which got a bad name for themselves in the 50s and 60s because of their psychological and physical addictiveness, and have generally been replaced by newer drugs. Luminal and Mebaral are two still prescribed for insomnia.

    Non habit forming hypnotics help reduce the time it takes to fall asleep. Lunesta, Sonata, and Ambien work quickly to increase drowsiness and sleep.

    Rozerem, the newest approved by the FDA, acts differently from other sleep medicines. Rather than depressing the central nervous system, it mimics melatonin, a chemical that helps regulate the body’s natural sleep-wake cycle.  Sleep experts however query whether it is effective for sleep disturbances not caused by jet lag or sleep rhythm disturbance.

    Common Side Effects of Sleeping Pills

    Sleeping pills make you breathe more slowly and less deeply. That can be dangerous for people with uncontrolled lung problems such as asthma. They may also provoke an allergic reaction.

    Common side effects of prescription sleeping pills such as Lunesta, Sonata, Ambien, Rozerem, and Halcion may include:

    • burning or tingling in the hands, arms, feet, or legs
    • constipation or diarrhea
    • loss of  balance and dizziness
    • grogginess
    • dry mouth or throat
    • gas
    • headache
    • heartburn
    • stomach pain or tenderness
    • uncontrollable shaking of a part of the body
    • unusual dreams

    Can I become dependent on sleeping pills?

    Short-term use – over several weeks – may be fine.  Use for longer periods and you may build up a tolerance and it becomes less effective. You may also become psychologically dependent on the medicine. Then the idea of going to sleep without it will make you anxious. Some studies show that long-term use of sleeping pills actually interferes with sleep.

    Natural alternatives to sleeping pills

    There are a range of options you can consider to avoid using sleeping pills which may have much better long term results. These include making lifestyle changes like avoiding coffee or alcohol in the evening, developing a deliberately peaceful bedtime routine, keeping a worry journal, and taking natural sleep aids like valerian or melatonin.

  • midlifelove 5:52 am on August 24, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: carbohydrate, , , fast food restaurants, low calorie, low carb diet, maintaining weight loss, National Weight Control Registry, NWCR, regular physical activity, successful slimmer, ,   

    Exercise Won’t Make You Thin – Successful Losers 

    sucess loserYou’ve lost weight – more than once – but you always put it back on again. Experts agree that maintaining loss is the even harder than losing it in the first place. And according to people who should know – a group who lost big amounts and successfully remained slimmed down – regular physical activity is an important part of their success.

    Secrets of the Successfully Slim

    The National Weight Control Registry  – which maintains a registry of 5000 people, average age 45, who have lost big amounts of weight and kept it off for more than a year – looked at the lifestyle secrets of these people, with weight loss of 30 kg for an average of 5.5 years.*

    Nine of ten of those who were successful modified both diet and exercise to lose weight and keep it off.

    Successful strategies included:

    • eating a diet low in fat
    • frequent self-monitoring of body weight and food intake
    • high levels of regular physical activity

    Low Calorie, Not Low Carb Best

    Specifically, these successful slim people (80% of them women) followed these guidelines:

    • low calorie diet of on 1381 kcal/day on average
    • 24% fat, 19% protein, and 56% carbohydrate calories
    • < 1% of participants consumed a low carbohydrate diet
    • the few who did eat < 24% carbohydrate calorie diets maintained their weight for less time and were less physically active
    • consumed  5 meals per day, ate at fast food restaurants only 1x week, and 2.5 meals per week at other restaurants
    • 3 in 4 participants weighed themselves either daily or weekly
    • most participants monitored their dietary intake regularly, particularly if they noted more than a couple lbs of weight gain
    • 91% of the registrants used exercise to assist them with weight maintenance
    • women averaged 2545 kcals/wk and men 3293 kcals/wk in physical activity; this is equivalent to walking 20-30 miles per week
    • most increased both lifestyle activity and regular structured exercise
    • 77% of registrants used walking as their main form of exercise
    • 1 in 5 engaged in weight training
    • among those who regained weight, they increased fat intake, decreased physical activity by an average of 800 kcals/wk, and reduced the amount of self-monitoring activities

    The Registry study offers hope for those who stick with it. It found the longer you do it, the easier it gets.  “Once these successful maintainers have maintained a weight loss for 2–5 years, the chances of longer-term success greatly increase,” the NWCR study says.

    • Поликсена Вышеславовна 10:04 pm on November 11, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      Вечер добрый. Вот меня, как консультанта из Белорусии, беспокоит вопрос о отношении к нам, так сказать к тем, кто только начинает свою карьеру… Поговаривают, что в других странах накануне праздников, консультантов поздравляют, дарят что-то ценное, а не обходятся банальной открыткой, как это делается у нас… Ведь это же несомненно и приятно и понимаешь, что тебя хотя бы немного, но уважают. Расскажите, как у Вас с этим?

  • midlifelove 4:36 am on August 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: dance, evolution, Funny, , king kong jane, old man, pop rock, singapore, uncle   

    Singaporean uncle can dance better than you 

    So you have seen the video on YouTube called Evolution of Dance or other videos where a young flexible athletic guy is showing off his moves.

    But I think it hard to beat the spirit of  this middle-aged dancer.

    If you think you can dance better then him then feel free to put a link to your video.

  • midlifelove 5:44 am on August 21, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: aerobics, cardio, , eat more, , fatter, hungrier, John Cloud, obese, overcompensate, resistance, reward, , thin, Time magazine,   

    Exercise Won’t Make You Thin? Yeah Right. 

    exercise won't make you thinTime magazine and writer John Cloud bought themselves a fight with the Aug 9 cover story Exercise Won’t Make You Thin. Howls from medical professionals, personal trainers, and their nemesis – the people who moan they “exercised for four hours a week and never lost a pound” – are still ringing.

    Time argued:

    • Exercising just makes us hungrier, which means we eat more, AND
    • Because we’ve exercised we “reward” ourselves with the chocolate pastry or muffin we would not have otherwise had, immediately undoing the calorie loss we’ve earned with our workout session (women are apparently the worst “overcompensators”.)
    • We’re being “tricked” into unpleasant and useless exercise and while we are just getting hungrier and fatter. (Look at national obesity figures.)

    The resulting pros-and-cons discussion has thrown up some great research clarifying whether exercise gets you thin, keeps you thin or both.

    The short conclusion is it depends on what sort of exercise (aerobic, weights etc) you are doing. And while it may not help you lose weight,  it certainly will help you stay that way.

    Diet to Lose, Exercise to Maintain


    Two studies in particular show clearly that while diet may play a bigger part than exercise in losing weight, exercise plays an essential part in maintaining that loss.

    One 12 week study by Kramer, Volek et al,* which included aerobic, strength training, and diet controls, showed fat mass losses from the three approaches as follows:

    • Diet only: 6.7kg,
    • Diet/aerobics/cardio: 7kg,
    • Diet/aerobics plus weights/resistance: 10kg.
      wexercise_0817 copy


    Most noteworthy – the group that combined diet, cardio and resistance training lost almost no lean tissue whereas the diet only group lost almost 3kg worth of lean tissue.

    Training was 3 times a week starting at 30 mins and progressing to 3 x 50 minutes over the 12 weeks. So the weight training group lost 3.3 kg, (21.1lbs,) – 44% and 35% more than diet and aerobic only groups respectively –  in the same time frame.

    We’ll deal with study number two – which examined the lifestyles of people who had taken off large amounts of weight and then successfully kept it off – in Instalment 2 of Exercise Won’t Make You Thin Successful Losers.

    *Kramer, Volek et al., Influence of exercise training on physiological and performance changes with weight loss in men. Med. Sci. Sports Exerc., Vol. 31, No. 9, 1999.

  • midlifelove 5:40 am on August 20, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Chuck Norris, Dos Equis, Ernest Hemingway, Facebook, , Jonathan Goldsmith, Knight Rider, Macgyver, Magnun P.I., Mexican beer, stay thirsty my friends, The Most Interesting Man in the World   

    The Most Interesting Man in the World 

    the most interesting man in the worldA tongue-in-cheek Mexican beer campaign with a senior citizen pitching to guys in their 20s and 30s – that would be madness, right?

    Not if the distinguished old guy is Jonathan Goldsmith, playing a “James Bond meets Ernest Hemingway” character in the Dos Equis beer ads as “The Most Interesting Man in the World.”

    In a gloriously rumpled tuxedo, the TV veteran of 80’s shows like Magnum P.I. and Knight Rider has made Dos Equis into a household name in the US and Canada – no small feat in the current recession.

    Inviting Parody

    Freeing a trapped bear, leading a midnight hike through the jungle, playing a rousing game of jai alai—it’s all in a day’s work for the Most Interesting Man in the World.

    The 15 second spots are brilliantly written with quotable quips that invite parody – “The police often question him just because they find him interesting;” “He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels;”  “His blood smells like cologne;” “His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.”

    Sunburned and silver-haired, Goldsmith’s character dangles a bottle of Dos Equis from thumb and forefinger, presumably unwinding after his latest escapade. “I don’t always drink beer,” he rumbles. “But when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.”

    Tripled Sales

    Reminiscent of the “Chuck Norris Facts” that became an Internet sensation (“Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits,”) they appeal to young guys who “when they get to the bar, they want to tell a better story about the life they lead,” according to the ad’s creators.

    Running in the US since 2007 and in Canada since 2008, (where the beer’s sales have more than tripled this year) they’ve won awards and inspired a slew of imitators.

    On The Dos Equis Facebook page, over 150,000 fans post favourite facts about him, or invent their own. The character even hosts a Most Interesting Academy online, where devotees can learn everything from survival tips to animal kingdom lore.

    Arm Wrestle Stalin, Mao

    All of these spots are tied-in at the end with our interesting gentleman telling us to “stay thirsty my friends” which is also the web address for their campaign micro-site – http://www.staythirstymyfriends.com.

    There you can test your skill in patience and strength (by arm wrestling Mao, Churchill, Stalin, or even our most interesting man), apply to become the most interesting man in the world’s personal assistant and view various photos with our host performing assorted “manly” feats.

    So why was a man whose mysteriously uninformative Wikipedia entry only admits to being born “in the 1940s,” appeal to guys under 40? Ad people say it’s because the campaign shoots for charming eccentricity and “a model of masculinity” over cheesecake and frat humour.

    Only the Beer XX-rated

    The man himself recently told a Hollywood columnist he’s having a blast.  The Examiner’s Page Five reports he loves being greeted with a smile wherever he goes and considers the hit campaign “an absolute blessing” in his life. But as far as those Internet sites in which people concoct their own funny “most interesting man” titbits, he admits they’re not really for him.

    “I have no computer skills,” says the avid sailor, who lives on his boat. “People will call and tell me about them, and I’ve looked a couple of times. But when one of them supposedly had me as a porn star, I tuned out.” The journeyman actor has a long list of film and TV credits (Go Tell the Spartans, MacGyver, etc.) — but only his beer is XX-rated.

  • midlifelove 5:27 am on August 19, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: andropause, , , , , herbal supplements, low hormone, , male hormones, , memory loss, , mood swings, puberty in reverse, ,   

    Was Michael Jackson In Male Menopause? 

    michael-jacksonMichael Jackson might have wanted to be Peter Pan, forever young, but was the irony of his death that he was going through male menopause?

    That’s the theory advanced by two Beverly Hills anti-aging consultants to explain the common symptoms of anxiety, depression, insomnia and fatigue that led to his reliance on prescription drugs.

    Karen Norris and Eve Michaels of the Simply Ageless 41 clinic suggest the 50-year-old singer may well have been rejuvenated with hormone therapy, with no need for the drugs which eventually killed him.

    “Michael has been painted this dark, troubled soul, a fragile spirit, even a drug addict,” says Norris, who authors a weekly online magazine at the SimplyAgeless411 website. “No one seems to have considered that he could have been suffering from symptoms of male menopause. The sad part is that it can easily be treated if you get to the right doctor.”

    Puberty In Reverse

    Male menopause – clinically diagnosed as andropause – is still a controversial idea for some doctors, but there seems little doubt some men suffer noticeably from symptoms associated with low levels of testosterone and other hormones as they age.

    Common symptoms include chronic fatigue, mood swings, depression, anxiety, memory loss, among others. Though symptoms vary they usually begin in the 30s and become significant between the ages of 45 and 60.

    Board certified physician Ryan Stanton, MD, is a hormone specialist based in Beverly Hills, and a frequent contributor and advisor to SimplyAgeless411 subscribers-only “ezine.” insists male menopause is very much a genuine medical problem that requires diagnosis and treatment.

    “It’s sometimes called ‘puberty in reverse’ but that makes it seem like a mid-life crisis and diminishes the serious affects it can have on a man’s physical and emotional well-being,” Dr. Stanton says. “To think that it’s just a phase that will eventually pass and not seek treatment for it can be dangerous.”

    Low Testosterone Regimen

    Low hormone levels of thyroid, cortisol and testosterone are easily treated through a regimen of tablets and gels applied to the skin. For most men, the results are dramatic and immediate.

    Anti aging consultant Karen Norris says a standard blood test doesn’t screen all of your hormone levels and will not reveal the full scope of a man’s hormonal profile.

    Testosterone can also be stimulated by herbal supplements like tribulus terrestris found in natural health supplements like Herbal Ignite.micheal

  • midlifelove 11:43 pm on August 18, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: assets, , , happy marriage, long-lasting, , , richer, stick together, wealth   

    Top 10 Reasons Why Recession is Good For Relationships 6 – 10 

    recession1Perhaps recession is doing something the good times couldn’t – encouraging couples to stick together and face their problems as a team.

    As we mentioned in Part One of this Top Ten survey, one out of three people questioned in a Romance in Recession Poll in January 2009 feel that financial constraints have brought them and their partner closer together.

    There are a lot of good reasons to see the black clouds of recession as having a silver lining.

    Top 10 Reasons No 6 – 10

    6 ) Communication improved: 34 percent of poll respondents claim that over the past year, they haven’t argued with their partner about finances. A typical comment:
    “When my husband and I lost our jobs, we had to learn to really communicate with each other to figure out what to do next.”

    7 ) The relationship developed resilience: two key predictors of a resilient relationship, experts say, are mutual support and a willingness to sacrifice. A 2006 study by Scott Stanley, the director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, and colleagues found that the willingness to forgo personal interests and put a partner’s needs ahead of one’s own was directly linked to a long-lasting, happy marriage — provided that such sacrifices weren’t damaging or one-directional.

    8 ) Despite tough economic times you’ll be better off financially if you hang in there. Marriage is as important, if not more important, than education in determining a man’s wealth. Married men make, by some estimates, as much as 40 percent more money than comparable single guys, even after taking into account education and job history. The longer a man stays married, the higher the marriage premium he receives. Wives’ earnings also benefit from marriage, but they decline when motherhood enters the picture. Childless white wives get a marriage wage premium of 4 percent, and black wives earn 10 percent more than comparable single women.

    9 ) Did I mention stick together and you’ll be much richer? Married people not only make more money, they manage money better and build more wealth together than either would alone. At identical income levels, for example, married people are less likely to report “economic hardship” or trouble paying basic bills. The longer you stay married, the more assets you build; by contrast, length of cohabitation has no relationship to wealth accumulation. On the verge of retirement, the average married couple has accumulated assets worth about $410,000, compared with $167,000 for the never-married and $154,000 for the divorced. Couples who stayed married in one study saw their assets increase twice as fast as those who had remained divorced over a five-year period.

    10 ) Recession may encourage you to stay in the relationship for the long haul – and there is plenty of evidence for many people this is the best choice. What proportion of unhappily married couples who stick it out stay miserable? The latest data shows that within five years, just 12 percent of very unhappily married couples who stick it out are still unhappy; 70 percent of the unhappiest couples now describe their marriage as “very” or “quite” happy.

    Resilience evolves over time, as long as couples make it a mutual priority — and that takes patience. Keep in mind also that over the long haul, the health and mental benefits of marriage are countless. Says Diane Sollee, a marriage and family therapist and the founder of SmartMarriages.com: “You’ve got to know that you actually do better if you hang in there.”

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