Tiger Woods Jokes

Last month Tiger Woods was commenting on Facebook that you never saw or heard anything of him or his former model wife Elin because they lived such boring lives. Not any more.

His mysterious late night crash – and the shattered back window – produced a new crop of Tiger jokes within 24 hours.

Here’s a sampling. After you’ve finished laughing, add your own in the comments box below.

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

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What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

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Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par.

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What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

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Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

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Q: What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?

A: Tiger has a better Driver.

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At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.

Tiger is a bit sceptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he’s too polite to say anything.

“When I tee off, “the singer explains, “I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim.”

Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a round.

When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, “How about if we play for $100,000?”

Tiger insists he couldn’t possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap.

But Stevie argues and badgers Tiger until Tiger finally relents and says, “OK, it’s your money, and I’ll let you pick the time and the place”

Stevie replies, “I’ll pick the time and YOU pick the place!”

“Okay, Pebble Beach, what time?”

“Midnight”

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I told Tiger Woods one of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball or drive in the wrong lane.

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This just in: Elin Nordegren, Tiger Woods’ wife, has hired Chris Brown to help her improve her golf swing.

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Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife

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Tiger Woods was injured in a car accident as he pulled out of his driveway early Friday morning.  It was Woods’ shortest drive since an errant tee shot at the US Open.

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Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he’s ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.

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Tiger woods will make even more $$$ cause sponsors like Durex, Viagra and Herbal Ignite are lining up to sign him up.


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