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  • midlifelove 10:22 pm on March 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ask Sam, Father of the year, Gordon Ramsay, Gordongate, infidelity, married man, mistresses, Oprah, other woman, Sarah Symonds,   

    Gordon Ramsay’s ‘Ex’: Tips for the ‘Other Woman’ 

    Is it a case of “Mistresses of the World, Unite?”

    Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay’s newly reformed ex-lover Sarah Symonds has written what she describes as a “taboo-busting book “– and she’s passed it on to Tiger Wood’s mistresses in the hope they’ll “learn something from her mistakes.”

    A bit late for them perhaps, but self-proclaimed “infidelity expert” Sarah is undeterred. She’s also gone on Oprah peddling a non-profit organisation “Mistresses Anonymous” (which includes a 12-step program to recovery).

    Why She Went Public

    Sydney Morning Herald sex and relationships blogger Ask Sam was wondering in print what it was with the abundance of mistresses going public on their affairs, so she asked Sarah why she’d decided to spill the beans on her seven-year-affair with the F-word maestro.

    As the British tabloids were quick to point out, Sarah is the debonair bleached-blonde babe who shouted from atop the pages of every British celebrity tabloid about her affair with Father of the Year Ramsay.

    As Ask Sam notes, “we also quickly learnt that this wasn’t the first time she bonked a married man, with the media dubbing her as “making a career out of sleeping with other people’s husbands”

    Other Woman “Can’t Win”

    “Outing” Ramsay, – she calls it “Gordongate” – had nothing to do with wanting to see her name in lights, she told Ask Sam.

    “I went on record to tell my true story after I heard that Gordon was so hurtfully denying it and me, and lying about our affair,” she told Sam.

    In hindsight (and after much trial and error) Symonds now realises high profile public men like Ramsay and Woods are never going to leave their wives for their mistresses.

    “A married man will 99.9% never leave his wife, and uses a mistress as his crutch to stay in an unhappy marriage,” she says.

    From her recent realisation, she feels her job now is to warn all women against dating a married man and being used in another person’s relationship. So here it is, Sarah’s golden rule for singles.

    Top Five Tips For “Other Women”

    1. Never date a married man! Why be second best?
    2. Do your due diligence when you meet a guy to find out if he is married or not. Some men slip their wedding rings off.
    3. Empower yourself enough to not settle for the crumbs of a married man’s time. Find a SINGLE man.
    4. Wives, act more like mistresses to stop your husbands from cheating on you!
    5. Never believe a word any man tells you. Basically, “if his lips are moving he is lying”.

    Ask Sam (Samantha Brett’s) new book The Chase; Everything you need to know about Men, Dating and Sex is available from February 1 at Booktopia.

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  • midlifelove 8:38 am on September 10, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: common sexual fantasies, Dr Marta Meana, Freud, Oprah, what women want, women's sexual desire   

    What Women REALLY Want 

    what women want
    It’s the sexual question that has kept men enthralled.

    Even the granddad of psychiatry Sigmund Freud, who thought he knew a lot about sex, admitted to a female student;  “The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, is, What does a woman want?”

    Now a new breed of female researchers and clinicians is coming ever closer to finding the key to womens sexuality – and as a recent Oprah show related – the answers are raising eyebrows. It’s not, it appears, mind-blowing sex.

    Oprah’s show was sparked by a The New York Times Magazine article exploring female sexual arousal “What Do Women Want?” in which female sex therapist Dr. Marta Meana claimed that when it comes to sex, what women really want is to be wanted. “Being desired is the real orgasm,” she says.

    Being Desired Biggest Turn On

    Dr. Meana, a professor of psychology at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas has been studying women and sexual desire for 20 years. She says that while moments of pleasure are great, it’s the anticipation and buildup to those moments that really excite women.

    “I’m not knocking orgasms,” she says. “But being desired is extremely arousing for women. The reason for that is that being desired means that a man doesn’t just want to have sex. He wants to have sex with you.”

    This desire to feel desired explains one of the most common female sexual fantasies—being dominated by an attractive man.

    “When women talk about domination, what they’re trying to communicate is ‘I was so wanted by someone I wanted,'” Dr. Meana says. This fantasy is not about coercion or violence.

    Keeping Mystery Important

    On the other hand, some women don’t want sex at all, and Dr. Meana says that doesn’t necessarily mean a relationship is in jeopardy. “Bad sex happens to good couples all the time,” she says. “No sex happens to good couples.”

    Many women in long-term relationships get worried when they feel the passion start to fizzle, but Dr. Meana says that can be fixed. “Passion is dependent on novelty, discovery, desire,” she says. “What happens in relationships is we fall into these old patterns, and we start thinking we’ve figured everything out about each other, and we really haven’t.”

    Happily married women often face a paradox when it comes to sex because the very thing that makes them happy—closeness with their partner—is what gets in the way of desire.

    “[In a study I conducted], the couples were in each other’s lives so much that they’re almost the same person at some point,” Dr. Meana says. “There’s no sense of otherness, no mystery, no excitement.”

     
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