Top Five “To Do’s” For Getting Over Heartbreak

As “Closing Time” by 90s alt rockers Semisonic reminds us, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

We’ve covered the “Top Five No-Nos” for relationship break up – now here’s the Top Five “To Do’s” for putting the past behind you.

1. Hang out with your friends

Let your friends give you a reality check on how your ex wasn’t all that great to begin with, and that there are more fish in the sea. Let them remind you of some of the irritating habits he or she had – like putting you down in front of them.

A little chick-bonding or male camaraderie can go a long way towards getting your head straight. Everyone has experienced disappointment in love at some time and probably will again, and most friends are happy to boost your spirits in the early stages.

2. Do lots of new things

You may not be feeling too much like venturing out without your partner, but take the plunge anyway. There’s a world of activities you can partake in that you were never able to enjoy because your “other half” didn’t approve.

So indulge. Travel. Build a model plane. Go hiking. Play video games on your computer. Watch TV all weekend. Go to a cooking school or start boxing.  Do anything you want. Ideally, you want to find an activity that allows you to release your anger and alleviate stress.

3. Do something for someone else

In The 30 Day Heartbreak Cure Catherine Hickland, soap diva, clinical hypnotist and businesswoman, outlines a month-long program for getting life back together that includes stepping outside your own soggy meltdown to help someone else.

Hickland – whose ex-husbands include actors David Hasselhoff and All My Children Emmy winner Tad (Michael E) Knight – does life skills workshops for a Prison Ministry in Texas. You may not want to get that involved, but at least get out and baby sit for a friend or take an elderly neighbour shopping.

It will give you a buzz and remind you others have needs – some of them much more desperate – than yours.

4. Set daily goals

Every set-back is a set up for an incredible comeback, says Catherine Hickland, who tells of wallowing in self pity for days before picking herself up and deciding on a date for “Heartbreak Cured”. She marked her calendar with daily activities and goals for the next month.

“A break up is really the first days for a life change,” she says. Do things that will make you feel more desirable, such as going to the gym or getting a new haircut. Walk on the beach. Start a journal. Buy a new outfit or go out to the club with your friends.

5. Avoid using alcohol, drugs, sex or food to cope

When you’re in the middle of a breakup, you may be tempted to do anything to relieve your feelings of pain and loneliness. But using alcohol, drugs, sex or food as an escape is unhealthy and destructive in the long run. It’s essential to find healthier ways of coping with painful feelings.

And although a “rebound romance” may take your mind off your ex for a while, it will also complicate your future and allow you to avoid looking at the way you do relationships – setting you up for a repeat breakup not too far down the track.