She’s Got It All – So Why Isn’t She Happy?

sex and the cityAs a baby boomer lucky enough to have made it through to the 21st century, I can’t imagine a better time to be a woman! With access to work, education and leisure opportunities like never before, I just can’t imagine what woman have got to not to be happy about.

Want to go skiing in your 60s? Why Not? Get remarried in your 70s? Go for it! Back pack around the world or take up the flute in your 80s? Hey if it excites you, do it!

It’s a historic fact that the last four decades have seen women secure better jobs and education, higher salaries, more free time and more influence.

Fay Weldon Recants

So why, as recent studies have shown, are they, unlike men, growing sadder as they grow older? Why is feminist author Fay Weldon (77) now saying women should step back from the board room and have babies, pick up men’s socks and fake orgasms?

Despite all the gains of the last 40 years, gains that were supposed to have given women fulfillment and even, for the special few, the sustained thrill of living of an authentic life, women’s general life satisfaction is trending downwards.

Ariana’s Sad and Shocking Truth

 

As journalist /blogger Ariana Huffington has noted in The Sad Shocking Truth about How Women are Feeling “It doesn’t matter what their marital status is, how much money they make, whether or not they have children, their ethnic background, or the country they live in. Women around the world are in a funk.”

The usual excuses – working longer hours, doing more house work, gender stereotyping – don’t stack up when examined closely.

Marcus Buckingham, a best-selling author and former Gallup Poll researcher reckons he’s got the answer – and that is that women and men pass each other in a mid point in life. Women start out feeling more fulfilled, and then lose it as they age, while men go in the opposite direction.

Happiest Women’s Secrets

In Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently, due out in the US in late September, Marcus suggests the happiest and most successful women:

  • Don’t agonize over who they aren’t—they accept and act on who they are. They have discovered the role they were born to play and they play it.
  • Don’t juggle—they catch-and-cradle. They don’t keep things at bay, but select a few things and draw them in close.
  • Don’t strive for balance—they strive for fullness. They intentionally imbalance their lives toward those moments that make them feel strong.
  • Always sweat the small stuff—They know and act on the specific details of what invigorates them (and they let go of what doesn’t strengthen them).

So what about you? Are happy with where you are? Has life lived up to your expectations so far? And if not, what are you doing about it? We’d love to hear.

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