5 Worst Valentine’s Gifts

If you’re feeling sour rather than sweet about your 21010 Valentine, we’ve got suggestions for the Five Worst Valentine’s Gifts ever. These are little somethings that are guaranteed to offend.  If you risk giving them, be ready to handle the fall out, or make sure the (misplaced?) object of your affections has a great sense of humor.

1) Sex for Dummies Book

2) Installing two person loo for your loved one to poo at the same time as you

3) Underwear to fit two people

4) Chocolate scale to remind her that she’s got lots to lose

5) Remove your own dead skin and fallen hair

Sex is Good For You!

It’s not often you discover doing something you enjoy is also really good for your health, but researchers have come up with startling results when looking at whether having sex was good for your health, Forbes magazine has reported.

In one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency, Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade.

Good Sex Life Halves Death Rate

The study was designed to compare persons of comparable circumstances, age and health. Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards.

Other studies show that having sex even a few times a week may help with the following:

• Improved sense of smell: After sex, production of the hormone prolactin surges. This in turn causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain’s olfactory bulb, its smell center.

• Reduced risk of heart disease: In a 2001 follow-on to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.

• Weight loss, overall fitness: British researchers have determined that the equivalent of six Big Macs can be worked off by having sex three times a week for a year. Muscular contractions during intercourse work the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck and thorax. Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles.
• Reduced depression: A 2002 study of 293 women reported by American psychologist Gordon Gallup indicated that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.

• Pain-relief: Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This in turn releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headache to arthritis to even migraine. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS.

• Less-frequent colds and flu: Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.

• Better bladder control: Heard of Kegel exercises? You do them, whether you know it or not, every time you stem your flow of urine. The same set of muscles is worked during sex.

• A happier prostate? Some urologists believe they see a relationship between infrequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate. The causal argument goes like this: To produce seminal fluid, the prostate and the seminal vesicles take such substances from the blood as zinc, citric acid and potassium, then concentrate them up to 600 times. Any carcinogens present in the blood likewise would be concentrated. Rather than have concentrated carcinogens hanging around causing trouble, it’s better to evict them.

Regular old sex could do the job. But if the flushing of the prostate were your only objective, masturbation might be a better way to go, especially for the non-monogamous male. Having sex with multiple partners can, all by itself, raise a man’s risk of cancer by up to 40%.

That’s because he runs an increased risk of contracting sexual infections. A study recently published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week.

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Lessons for Living Longer

Psychologist Paul Cameron once conducted a survey on sex, God and death, and found big differences in how different age groups thought about these “big questions”.

Sex

• 18 to 25 year olds think about sex at least once every 10 minutes; middle aged people at least once every 35 minutes, and people over 65 once an hour.

God

• Young adults think about God once every 25 minutes, middle aged people every 15 minutes and people over 65 every ten minutes.

Death

• Young adults think about death every 25 minutes, old people every 15 minutes.

The ‘Power Nine’ Principles

For most people it’s not just the idea of living longer that’s important, but ensuring we live longer with zest, enjoyment and minimum impairment.

To discover how to do that, journalist Dan Buettner travelled to communities around the world with a higher than average share of healthy centenarians.

The healthy elderly in Sardinia, Okinawa, Costa Rica, and Loma Linda (Seventh Day Adventists) in southern California shared life principles he boiled down to  the “Power Nine” in The Blue Zone, Lessons for living longer from the people who’ve live the longest (National Geographic).

He suggests you don’t try more than three at a time. Start with the three with the best chance of success, and then gradually add more.

Lesson No 1 Move Naturally

Be active without having to think about it…

You don’t need to run marathons or triathlons.

Male centenarians in Sardinia worked most of their lives as shepherds, involving miles of hiking every day. Okinawans garden for hours daily. Adventists take nature walks.

An ideal routine would be a combination of aerobic, balancing, and muscle strengthening activities. Dr Robert Butler* recommends exercising the core muscles at least twice a week. Yoga when done properly will increase balance.

Sustaining the effort is the key. Says Dr Robert Kane*: “You need to be a miler, not a sprinter. Overall goal is to get into the habit of doing at least 30 minutes (ideally 60 minutes) of exercise at least five times a week.

Lesson 2 Eat Less

Painlessly cut calories by 20 per cent by stopping eating before you are full

The secret of the Okinawans is ‘hara hachi bu’ – stop eating when your stomach is 80 per cent full. Okinawan’s daily calorie intake is 1900 calories, the Sardinian’s is 2000.

This simple but powerful practice may amount to a painless version of calorie restriction – associated in lab animals with prolonged life. A happy by product is you lose weight and losing just 10 per cent of your body weight helps lower blood pressure and cholesterol.

• Serve small servings and put the food away before taking your plate to the table. You’ll eat 14 per cent less
• Make food look bigger -  say take a quarter pound of hamburger and bulk up  on lettuce tomato and onion instead of half a pound of hamburger
• Use smaller plates and long narrow glasses – it looks more and you’ll consume less
• Keep snacking foods out of sight.
• Eat slowly
• Eat early – have your biggest meal at lunchtime.

Lesson 3 Plant Slant

Avoid meat and processed foods

In places like the communities in Sardinia and Okinawa, they eat small portions of unprocessed foods.

Beans, whole grains and garden vegetables are the cornerstones of all these longevity diets. Whole grains deliver fiber, antioxidants cholesterol reducers and clot blockers, plus essential minerals. Nuts may be the most impressive of longevity foods.

Eat four to six servings of vegetables a day

Showcase fruit and vegetables

Lesson 4 Red Wine

Drink red wine (in moderation). That adds up to a serving or two per day, no more.  A daily drink or two is associated with lower rates of heart disease, helps create an “event” and encourages you to eat more slowly.

Lessons 5 to 9 To Be Continued

*Dr Robert Butler is president and CEO of the International Longevity Center-USA and professor og geriatrics at Mount Sinai Medical Center.

*Dr Robert Kane is director of the Center on Aging and Minnesota Geriatric Education Center at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis.

Prostate Cancer – the Most Risky Treatments

It’s a topic that has made it into the story lines of 30 Rock and Boston Legal, but it’s still a “touchy” subject men are reluctant to talk about. That’s the risk of temporary or permanent erectile dysfunction from prostate cancer treatment.

Temporary or permanent impotence can affect up to 70 per cent of men with prostate cancer, and only a few high profile men – among them Rudy Guiliani in the US and broadcaster Paul Holmes in New Zealand  – are willing to publicly acknowledge the issue, even when they talk about prostate cancer.

Whether a man retains good sexual function very much depends on a range of factors, including the size and aggressiveness of the tumor, the patient’s age, lifestyle, and overall health, and the treatment option chosen.

It’s impossible for a doctor to predict ahead of treatment what the outcome for an individual is likely to be.

Risk Factors Assessed

But here is a rundown on the treatment options and the risk factors involved:

Surgery (Radical Prostatectomy)

The first US nationally representative study to evaluate long-term outcomes after radical prostatectomy concluded that impotence occurs far more frequently than previously reported.

Those who have so-called nerve-sparing surgeries have better results than those whose surgeries affect the nerves around the prostate. Some evidence also suggests that sexual function rates might improve if the nerve-sparing prostate surgeries also spare the ducts that carry semen.

• Some degree of erectile dysfunction occurs right after surgery to remove the prostate, regardless of whether the technique that tries to spare the nerve that controls erections is performed or not.

• If the nerve-sparing technique is used, recovery from erectile dysfunction may occur within the first year following the procedure. Recovery of erectile function after a non-nerve-sparing surgery is unlikely, but possible.
• One study shows erectile dysfunction rates of 66% for nerve-sparing prostatectomy versus 75% for non-nerve sparing surgery at one year after the surgery. The use of vacuum devices or drugs such as Viagra after surgery once the body has healed may improve the quality of erections and speed the return of normal sexual function.
• Some studies suggest that impotence after prostate surgery may in part be due to injury to the smooth muscles in the blood vessels. Early treatments to maintain penile blood flow, particularly alprostadil injections, may helpful in restoring erectile function. In one study, men administered injections every other night for six months. They then started taking sildenafil (Viagra) three months after surgery. At six months, 82% of these men achieved penetration compared to only 52% of men who took Viagra only. The vacuum pump may serve a similar purpose as the injections.

Radiation

Loss of erectile function is the most common long-term complication of radiation therapy.

• The onset of erectile dysfunction following radiation therapy is gradual and usually begins about six months following the treatment.
• Although it is generally believed that radiation poses a lower risk for impotence than does surgery, studies have reported similar rates after three years. Experts suggest radiation injures the blood vessels and so leads to erectile dysfunction over time.

• Some studies report a lower risk for impotence from brachytherapy, a radiation technique that involves the implantation of radioactive seeds compared to external-beam radiation. Still, there have been very few studies that have lasted more than two years. One five-year study reported a high long-term rate of impotence (53%) with brachytherapy, which is close to that of standard externally administered radiation. Early use of alprostadil injections and Viagra may help these men as well as those who had surgery.

Drug Treatments

Prostate cancer medical treatments commonly employ androgen-suppressive treatments, which cause erectile dysfunction.

• When hormone therapy is used, erectile dysfunction may occur approximately two to four weeks after the start of therapy. A decreased desire for sex also occurs.

What Men Want

Romance is on the way back in according to an international men’s survey that showed 71% of men believe in marriage and 36% believe in soul mates.

While the “modern man” may not be easy to identify – is he ”macho” or is he “metrosexual ,“  the Ask Men website survey canvassed the views of 50,000 respondents from around the world. The published results are analysed according to the responses from Australia, the US, the UK and Canada.

According to the 2009 Great Male Survey:

Marriage:

71% of men believe in marriage.

36% of men believe they have a soul mate, and are still looking for her.

39% don’t believe it’s important to sign a pre-nup.

The perfect girlfriend:

46% think that women put too much value on financial worth

33% think that a beautiful wife or girlfriend is the ultimate status symbol

The most important personality trait that makes a woman “relationship material” is a sense of caring/nurturing, which came above loyalty, sense of humour and intelligence.

22% of men said if they could change one thing about their wife/girlfriend, it would be her sexual appetite followed by her attitude/moodiness and then her looks.

44% would dump a girlfriend if she became fat.

50% of men prefer a C-cup size breast

Dating:

44% of men believe they should pay for the dates until the relationship is established.

72% of men would snoop in their partner’s email or other electronic messages

90% of men say a couple should live together before marriage

42% say they are comfortable with their girlfriend keeping in touch with her exes.

4% of men wouldn’t be comfortable with dating a woman with a higher income than they.

Sex:

18% of men have lied about how many sex partners they’ve had to protect their ego.

40% of men have fantasised about their partner’s friend.

53% of men use condoms.

60% of men would take the male pill if it were available.

86% would be offended if a woman faked an orgasm during sex.

26% of men have faked an orgasm

33% of them have masturbated at work.

50% of men would change their penis size if they could.

Only 1% of men admitted that they cheat on their partner.

84% have lied about the number of sex partners they have had

Frequency of Sex in Relationships

40% were “somewhat satisfied – there is room for improvement”

14% were completely satisfied – wouldn’t change a thing about it and the rest were dissatisfied because of the quantity or quality of sex or had no sex life at all

79% believed that to have a happy sex life couples needed sex “multiple times a week”

33% engaged in sex “multiple times a week”

At home:

33% of men own seven or more pairs of shoes.

39% admit that real men cry.

62% cook at home and enjoy it.

Women Prefer Water, Sleep to Sex

Drinking the recommended daily amount of water is more important to women than having enough sex, according to a national survey of 1000 women conducted by a women’s health magazine.

When asked to prioritize preferences related to their overall health and well being, women ranked getting enough sleep at No 1, drinking enough water at No 5, and having enough sex at the bottom of the list at No 7.

More than 1,000 women participated in the nationwide Cooking Light magazine Women’s Wellness Survey, which polled their opinions on healthy living, eating, and exercise.

What Women Want  - The List

1. Getting enough sleep
2. Keeping stress level low
3. Finding time to relax
4. Eating healthfully
5. Drinking the recommended amount of water
6. Finding time to exercise
7. Having enough sex

Other key findings include:

• Women would rather be thought of as healthy than trendy, wealthy, powerful, beautiful, sexy, or successful. Only smart trumps healthy.

• Forty-two percent agree that healthier people are more successful.
• Seventy-five percent of U.S. women believe being mindful of their health is an investment in themselves. Nearly two-thirds (65%) say taking measures to live healthfully is a way to personally control their lives and futures.
• The majority of women say their self-confidence is influenced by their appearance (74%) and their overall health and wellness (72%).

This report is based on a blind online study conducted among a randomly selected sample of U.S. women age 25+.

I would rather eat chocolate!!

You’re married or in a long term relationship, enjoying mutually satisfying intimate relations.  When you and your partner are together do you “make love” or are you “having sex”? Do you care what you call it?

Author Joan Sewell does.  In her witty personal memoir I’d Rather Eat Chocolate (Broadway Books New York) in which she devotes 200 pages to justifying her low libido, she reckons “making love” is a term used to pressure women to have “unwanted sex” with their husbands. It’s a term used to “convince women that what they are doing each and every time they have sex is a loving thing for him…

‘Good Book’ Better Than Sex

What “started out as a polite euphemism for having sex” is now taken literally, she says.  “And I am not convinced that sex is primarily, or even usually, an expression of love.”

Joan claims a lot of women experience the same disinterest she does in having sex. “If I had a choice between reading a good book and having sex, the book wins. My boyfriend – the man I would eventually marry – would take even bad sex over a good book.”

As for “making love” – well she says the term “went out of style in the 60s and 70s when how-to-sex books favoured a more straightforward rendering of sexuality.”

Guilt Trip for Low Libido Women

Now she says the “pro-family traditionalists have sided with the skin peddlers and feminists hoping to tug my sexuality in a more lustful direction to sell their products, save my marriage or make their point.

“The sexperts would have us assume that after men get into a committed relationship, sex undergoes a magical transformation in men’s minds, from a drive that causes them to pant after women in bars and nightclubs looking to get laid, into a beautiful expression of emotional regard.

“But if men did think of sex as love, we wouldn’t have to worry about men getting bored sexually in marriage. Can a man get tired of expressing love for his dear wife?”

Noone could accuse Joan of not being willing to try hard at being sexy for Kip, her patient spouse.

What Joan and Her Husband Tried That Didn’t Work

• Sex therapy.
• Giving sex as a gift.
• Thinking of sex as a spiritual act.
• Thinking naughty thoughts.
• Simulating lust.
• Having quickies.
• Wearing sexy lingerie.
• Being spontaneous.
• Faking it.
• Trying for better orgasms.
• Having a platonic relationship.
• The results? “We went from  sex once a week, to once every two weeks, to less than once a month and less . . .

What Finally Worked for Joan and Her Husband

• Giving her total control over their sex life.
• Not worrying about orgasms.
• Agreeing to stop when she wanted.
• Scheduled regular date nights.
• Honest communication about their sexual desires.
• Joan: “Having a positive attitude toward sex was key to my success… I mean that when sex was no longer a chore, I could approach it positively, without dread. . . It was very freeing and very fun.”

Herbs for Low Libido

Tribulus Terrestris.

Tribulus terrestris supports sex drive, ovulation and sexual reproduction functions through supporting healthy levels of Follicle Stimulating Hormone.

Epimedium

In recent studies, a daily dose of Horny Goat Weed helped by supporting blood circulation to the sex organs
•    Women benefit from the increased blood flow to sexual organs – assisting orgasm.
•    Epimedium also seems to heighten the sensitivity of nerve endings in the skin, which would also indirectly reinforce sexual stimulation.

Avena Sativa

Modern studies at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality have shown that avena sativa aids sexual arousal.

Herbal Ignite (www.herbalignite.com)

Herbal Ignite contains a unique formulation of the above mentioned herbs. Herbal Ignite’s special formula has helped many women and men with sexual arousal and an improved sense of well being with minimal unwanted side effects. You can discover the benefits of Herbal Ignite for a normal sex life.

Breaking Love Addiction

He – or she – is the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night. He’s – or she’s – your lover, your soul mate. You can read each other’s minds.  You are just meant for each other. It’s uncanny – almost a spiritual thing.

That’s what you thought until little cracks started appearing in your dream of ‘together forever’. When he or she decided they weren’t that into you anymore and they departed, taking your heart/world/future with them.

The ‘love of your life’ has walked out and you’re about to discover the dark side of romantic love. Of being devoured by unsatisfied desire – for as Plato said 2000 years ago “The God of Love lives in a state of need.”

Love Like Cocaine

That need is a dopamine-fuelled ‘high’ which brain imaging shows activates the reward/pleasure centres in the brain in ways very similar to cocaine and heroin.

And that’s the first important key to getting over love sickness, says Dr Helen Fisher, an expert on romantic love. Understand it is an addiction and some of the principles of the addiction counselling – like 12 Step programs – are helpful in getting over it.

Romantic love is associated with high levels of dopamine and probably also norepinephrine – brain substances that drive down serotonin.  And low levels of serotonin are associated with despair, and even suicide.

If nothing else, hankering after “what-might-have-been” can waste years of your life. It also kills some people. When a love affair turns sour, the human brain is set up for depression, and perhaps, self annihilation… The Japanese even glorified “love suicide” as evidence of one’s devotion.

Tricky Thinking

The idea, says Dr Fisher, is to ‘trick your brain’ into producing dopamine in response to new stimuli.

Despair from unrequited love will most likely also mean plummeting dopamine levels.  As you focus your attention and do novel things, you elevate this feel-good substance, boosting energy and hope. We can also utilise new research on brain functioning which shows we are wired to integrate thoughts and feelings. We can in other words, control our drive to love.

Woody Allen (in Sleepers) quipped “My brain? It’s my second favourite organ” – and he isn’t alone.  In this “golden age of the brain” neuroscientists are gaining increased understanding of our decision-making processes – and what they are learning can help us take control of our thoughts and feelings. We are wired so we can choose to think before we act (the high road) or we can allow our emotions to dictate our actions (the low road).

The love addiction can be conquered. It takes determination, time and some understanding of brain function and human nature. Says Dr Fisher:  “Someone is camping in your brain; you must throw the scoundrel out.”

Foods to beat love addiction

Many of the neurochemicals involved in sex and love – including dopamine, serotonin and testosterone – are affected by the stress of  severe loss. Divorce can add ten years to a man’s testosterone levels in just a few months. The good news is, the ‘chemicals of love’ can be boosted by eating the right foods – including cottage cheese, chicken, dark chocolate, yoghurt, eggs, and oats, or by herbal and nutritional supplements like Herbal Ignite. Visit http://www.herbalignite.com to find out more about.

Why is love addictive?

Brain imaging has confirmed what lovers have long-known. The crazy fixation we call romantic love is an addiction. . . maybe that’s why the Greeks called romantic love “the madness of the gods.”

Anyone who has ever been in the clutches of irrational infatuation knows the symptoms. Seemingly inexhaustible energy allows you to talk until dawn.  Satiated with love, you don’t need to eat; you feel you can live on air. Elated when things are going well, you sink into despair when things look like collapsing.

Noticeably there is a real dependence on the relationship, says Dr Helen Fisher, an expert on romantic love whose books including Why We Love trace the physical and psychological dependence of this primary human drive.

And dependence it is. Brain scans of love-stricken couples compared with men and women injected with cocaine, show many of the same brain regions become active.  So how does this happen?

Three Classic Symptoms

Directly or indirectly, all “drugs of abuse” affect a single pathway in the brain, the reward centres activated by dopamine. Romantic love stimulates parts of the same pathway with the same chemical.

In response to dopamine, the bewitched lover shows three classic symptoms of addiction: tolerance, withdrawal and relapse.

Tolerance: At first you’re happy to see loved one now and then… but very quickly you need them more and more until you “can’t live without them.”

Withdrawal: Dropped by your lover? The rejected one shows all the classic signs of drug withdrawal – depression, crying, anxiety, insomnia, loss or appetite or binge eating, irritability and chronic loneliness. You’ll also go to humiliating lengths to “procure a fix” – to see your lover, and try and renew the relationship.

Relapse: Long after the affair is over, hearing a particular song, or revisiting an old haunt can trigger the craving and initiate compulsive calling or writing to get another “high”. The lover is “a slave of passion.” Or rather – a slave to dopamine.

The Dopamine High

Dopamine. It’s at the core of our sexual drives and survival needs, and it motivates us to do just about everything. This mechanism within the reward circuitry of the primitive brain has been around for millions of years.

It’s behind a lot of the desire we associate with eating and sexual intercourse. Similarly, all addictive drugs trigger dopamine (the “craving neurochemical”) to stimulate the pleasure/reward circuitry. So do gambling, shopping, overeating, sexual climax and other, seemingly unrelated, activities. They all work somewhat differently on the brain, but all raise your dopamine.

You get a bigger blast of dopamine eating high-calorie, high-fat foods than eating low-calorie vegetables. You may believe that you love ice cream, but you really love your blast of dopamine. You’re genetically programmed to seek out high-calorie foods over others. Similarly, dopamine drives you to have sex over most other activities.

Boost Sexual Health

Many of the hormones involved in sex and love – including dopamine, serotonin and testosterone – are susceptible to stress or aging. They can be boosted by eating the right foods – including cottage cheese, chicken, dark chocolate, yoghurt, eggs, and oats, or by herbal and nutritional supplements like Herbal Ignite.

Smelling Good and Bad Love

When it comes to discerning a new hot love, we should trust our noses. That’s the message from new research which shows that amongst the 10,000 different odours we humans can smell, the one that might be most critical to our future is the unconscious one of sniffing out a compatible mate.

Scent not only tells males which females are primed to conceive, but it also lets both sexes sense compatible and incompatible partners.

That’s because scientists are discovering smell helps attract us to partners whose MHC complex (part of a constellation of genes that control the immune system) is most different to our own, increasing our chances of good sexual chemistry and successful reproduction.

Varied MHC receptors not only increase our ability to fight infection, but MHC is also involved in tissue rejection. Conceive a child with a person whose MHC is too similar to your own, and the risk increases that the womb will expel the fetus. Find a partner with sufficiently different MHC, and you’re likelier to carry a baby to term.

The T shirt test

Studies show that laboratory mice can smell too-similar MHC in the urine of other mice and will avoid mating with those individuals. In research at the University of Bern in Switzerland, human females were asked to smell T shirts worn by anonymous males and then pick which ones appealed to them.

Time and again, they chose the ones worn by men with a safely different MHC – except for women who were on the birth control pill. The Pill – which chemically simulates pregnancy – – throws women off the MHC scent, vastly increasing the chances of choosing a “Bad Love” partner. When women discontinue the daily hormone dose, the protective smell mechanism kicks back in.

Risking bad love

Another hormone to mask our ability to detect incompatible MHC is adrenaline. Any overwhelming emotional experience that ratchets up your sensory system can distort your perceptions, persuading you to take a chance on someone you should avoid.

Research shows that people who meet during a crisis–an emergency landing of their airplane, say–may be much more inclined to believe they’ve found the person meant for them.

If that sounds a lot like what happens when people meet and date under the regular influence of drugs or alcohol, only to sober up later and wonder what in the world they were thinking, that’s because in both cases powerful chemistry is running the show. When hormones and natural opioids get activated, psychologist and sex researcher Jim Pfaus of Concordia University in Montreal told Time magazine, you start drawing connections to the person who was present when those good feelings were created. “You think someone made you feel good,” Pfaus says, “but really it’s your brain that made you feel good.”